by Ketrino

I decided to write this since I certainly have nothing else to do. I have constently wondered about life around me…the life of “mundanes”, ordinary humans, or just human society in general.

From my eyes, the eyes of a wolf-kin, society and humans are just…odd. I don’t understand how things work. I understand their technology and such because I have been raised in their society but the way they act is just confusing.

I’ll admit I know I’m not supposed to be human. I am a wolf spirit trapped in a human body. I am supposed to be in a wolf body, far away from here, up in the tundras of the north with a pack, and far away from this confusing thing humans call “civilization.” Now yes, I am bighorn sheep, but I identify mostly as wolf. My bighorn side, however, is still a bit of mystery to me. I’m not sure why it’s here or what it is supposed to mean to me. That is writing for another day.

Going on, I don’t understand these humans…what probably confuses me the most is funerals…I understand the mourning process is important. Wolves do the same as well. But the way they mourn, collecting wherever they may, being sad, depressed, acting as if all life has stopped around them. Why aren’t they happy? A life on Earth has ended and the essence of that being can finally go back to where it came from, back Home, back to the Source of where all life comes from. Liberation from the physical body should be celeberated. Sure that person will no longer be there on the physical plane, but s/he will still exist at the source, the paradise where all come from. Along with the sadness humans have when one dies, I ponder over their methods of burial…they want to presevre the body it seems, but I don’t understand why…when there is no inhabitant in the body, its use is gone and thus it should be returned to the Earth. That is why we have the Scavengers like the vulture. When life is gone from a body, it should return to the Earth from whince it came.

Then there is the starnge inhumanity humans show to each other. I do not understand why a species must war against their own kind so ruthlessly and without care; I do not understand why they hate each other just because one may be different, may it be because of skin color, country of origin, beliefs, whatever. Now, I have always been an accepting person in this life and when I watch the news and I see how many people die and are fighting, it confuses me so much and I just want to get away from it. I hate their inhumanity and I hate their pointless fighting amongst themselves just because they can’t understand or agree with each other.

There is so much about human society I wish to understand, maybe just so I can walk amongst these strange beings and say, “so that’s why they do that.” But granted, I will probably never know the day when I can look at the human race and understand. The same can probably go for humans: they’ll never be able to look at Otherkin or Therianthropes or anyone else who may feel “different” and fully be able to understand them.

Life through the eyes of wolf-kin is much more different than any other ‘Kin could imagine. Life to us looks like a strange scene from an alien planet…it is something I think I may never be able to understand…it is something that just seems so unreal. Where I come from, life is simple, beautiful and free from any real wars and fighting. For the wolves, the only war is competeing for food, territory and the right to survive. For humans, war is fighting for the “true beliefs”, for peace where it will never be…life for wolves and life for humans is so damned different, I wonder why I question it. Sometimes I just want it all to end, sometimes I just want to run from my “human life” and back to the life in the snow and the tundra I know so well, but have never seen with my own eyes… But I must be in this human body for some reason. I MUST have been placed in this strange tail-less shell for one reasn or another…but that reason is so unclear. I wish I knew if it was to learn and strengthen myself or maybe if it truly was a mistake and that there is no reason.

Life through wolf eyes…life I will never understand. The only life I understand is the way of the animals, the furred, feathered, scaled…the way of the animals who I have felt so close to in this life…

Though the life I see through my dark yet innocent eyes is confusing, I will still strive to learn through it and I will still strive to figure this world and its human life out. But in a place where one does not belong, somethings are easier said than done.