by Skylar_Rayne: Fallen Lupa

My awakening was not an easy one. Infact, it was more confusing than anything I’ve ever encountered.

A year and a half ago I finally put a name to my wonderings. I was finally able to answer the question that my soul had been asking since birth. I knew, ever since I was little, I wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met before. Growing up I had a normal childhood, nothing really..abnormal about it. I had a grandmother with an uncanny ability to predict when my childish actions were going to get me hurt. She’d sit at the table with a regular deck of playing cards, this little Catholic woman, and read tarot through them telling me that one day she’d teach me how. She’d check her horoscope reguarly in the morning papers and I’ve never felt as at home as I did in her home. That always intrested me, what she was doing…

When I heard the story of my birth, I should’ve been able to put two and two together at that point. I was a C-section. Everything was going great, until the Doctors found a problem. My cord was wrapped around my neck twice, I was literally turning purple when they pulled me out, and one would really think, by the time the cord was cut and unwound, a baby would be dead. But for some reason, I didn’t die. Later on in life this trend has followed me. There have been numerous times that I should’ve died. I’ve almost drowned (I can’t swim) more times than I can count with no one around to save me. Twice my friend has almost tipped over a fourwheeler on me. The times have literally been numerous. This leaves me to think that there is much more for me to learn, there is a purpose for me to still be here.

Now that you have some background information, I’ll get onto the story. Last summer, after five years of practicing Wicca and looking into other religions, too many coicidences to count, and dreams of people dying,and people getting pregnant, I finally got an answer as to why these things were happening to me. One night I was sitting on the computer and I got an instant message from one of my own screen names. To make a long story short, it was my best friend screwing around with me trying to make me think that she was a friend of mine who had died a year prior. A night after that, after me changing my password and not telling anyone what it was, I got another IM which sent me into a frenzy of searching for information. It mentioned the word, “otherkin” A word that seemed so familar. I began frequenting Pagan chatrooms on Yahoo looking for anyone who seemed, “out of the ordinary”. I read profile after profile, looked at picture after picture..for someone, anyone who maybe able to give me a clue as to why I felt the way I did, why I could do the things I could do, why I saw the things I did. Now for most, they would probably just pass these things off as being psychic, but it felt like more to me. I could be in a room full of friendly faces, people I knew and love, and I would still feel alone. Nothing explained those dreams to me, nothing explained why I knew things that others didn’t, why I saw things others didn’t. I finally found someone, weeks after my search began in the Pagan chatroom on yahoo. His name was Steve and he claimed to be Dragonkin.

He hooked me up with people who told me their stories, what their abilities were, and I finally felt…at peace? It was a load off of my shoulders that I wasn’t this FREAK, that other people could do these things too.

During this time, I felt a physical difference in myself. I felt more senstive to things around me. My hearing was better, my sight was amazing. And while in class one day, as my friend was talking to me, I went to yawn, and I growled..A throaty, hearty growl. One night, coming back from the movies arriving at the friends house, we all stopped to talk in her driveway ( now, I live in the country, as so does she. She has a large lot on one side of her house thats just open field as far as the eye can see, the grass is tall, and there is some brush.) While we were talking, something next to the brush caught my eye, I stopped talking for a minute, and they continued on. I saw a white wolf, slowly emerge from the bush and stand there in the high grass watching me. It didn’t move from that spot, just stood, watching, studying. My friends noticed my silence and their gaze followed mine. They asked what I was staring at, and I commented back, asking them didn’t they see it? freaking out on them. They exchanged glances and asked me what I was on because there was nothing there.

Things changed after that night, I craved for bloody meat, I felt different, I looked different..I WAS different…I found after that time that if someone had an aliment such as a stomach ache, head ache, tooth ache, all I had to do was concentrate and I could relieve that pain…Dreams later, sightings of things later.. and here I am. I’m still learning, still trying to piece things together. So this is how I came to the conclusion that I am more than one kin type, how Wolf is my most prominant…

There’s more to my story, but this is the abridged verison.