by Tzolkin

I’ve been giving the whole concept of UPG and fluff-bunnies a lot of thought these past 24 hours or so. Even while asleep. And this is not something I’d usually think about, let alone suddenly wake up thinking about. And after much thought, I’ve come to somewhat of a conclusion on the matter. My thoughts are simply this: When personal knowledge cannot be proven by the outside world, it is labeled UPG, or ‘Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis’, right? But I wonder if anyone out there has bothered to break this concept down and apply it to other things than one’s kinship.

Gnosis; A word I’m familiar with from practicing Gnosticism. Essentially it is a form of intuitive knowledge, usually spiritual in nature. If something is gnosis, then you ‘just know’.

Personal; Of or pertaining to a particular person. This would be something private, intimate or whatever you want to call it.

Unsubstantiated; I had to look up this word, and after much searching, I found that it most closely means ‘not supported by non material aid’, such as in an accusation which has no evidence outside the accuser to back it up. Lacking external evidence perhaps.

Putting those together, we get something like ‘intuitive knowledge about oneself which cannot be supported by external evidence’. It sounds like a lot of things could fit under that definition, though; a person’s likes, dislikes, some ideas, dreams, personal beliefs, favorites, perception.. what would be left of a person if that label is used without restriction? How did this acronym originate anyway? The way it is structured leads me to believe that it was coined during a difference in opinion. But I ask, should things of the spirit really be dismissed because there’s nothing worldly that matches?

In my opinion, such things can neither be proven nor disproven, at least not from without. To even really delve into the spiritual at all, one has to leave the world behind and look within. And what you find there, just isn’t provable by the outside world. It’s your personal intuition, like a deep guess, there’s only one way to completely prove it, and that’s ‘wait and see’. So, you’re left with something deep and personal that can’t be proven, yet you can’t just dismiss it, because everything you know and are tells you it’s somehow true. You feel compelled to seek out people who’ve had similar experiences or think the same way, yet your spiritual foundations are shaky, and with so many people out there who’ve never even tried to look within themselves, it’s like a house of cards in an earthquake. Sound familiar to anyone?

A lot of people stumble at this level, I think. Some people try to reinforce their belief structure with things from outside sources, or try to make themselves look more unique and special than is necessary because they’re trying to find someone who will ‘take a walk in their shoes’, and no-one will. They look for acceptance based on who they believe they are, because on some level they were damaged; their newfound spirituality and identity was shaken violently because it didn’t fit the self-image the world handed them. And they grabbed whatever they could to keep that one seed of true, personal knowledge intact and safe. These people end up being labeled as fluff-bunnies; they don’t really mean any harm, they’re just very misguided. And as for the ones who do these things just to cause trouble, I quote something I heard in philosophy class. “Tell me what you pay attention to, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Three kinds of people come to mind when I think of this subject. The type who blindly follow others, the type who want people to follow them, and the type who follow their hearts. I am of the third type, a type of person who looks within themselves for truth, but also a person who’s beliefs are a constant conundrum between gnosis and agnosis, knowing but not knowing. Things are not always what they seem, especially within, a fact I’m well aware of, leading me to explore further within and seek out a clearer truth.

So again going back to the person who is beginning to awake. At their core they feel unique and different, but they cannot explain it. All around them, making up the majority of people they know are people who are either forceful about their own beliefs to such a degree as to stomp on anything new to keep up their status as leaders, or people who blindly follow those leaders. Yet they feel connected with neither, the mainstream means nothing to them. But the powers that be only want to stuff them in another prefabricated role. Thus frantically they stuff garbage into their belief structure to protect that divine spark they’re only just noticing. And still so many more just succumb to those in power, giving up their will and falling back into darkness, even though the voice of their souls plead with them to wake up again.

It’s kind of sad really. I don’t think any of us, not even plain ordinary humans, belong in such a world as this. Everywhere one looks, there’s misery, hate, fear, pride, greed.. the list goes on. It’s no wonder so many feel they don’t belong. But here’s the kicker; every last member of the human race, myself included, are responsible for this mess. We created this monster, and we’re the only ones who can fix it. From birth a child in indoctrinated in the ways of the world learned by their parents. And sadly, one of the first lessons for many is one of fear, and that love is conditional. The love and encouragement every young one needs is mercilessly denied to keep up the status quo. In schools questioning authority is met with hostility, even if the question is legitimate. Only choice, fragmented pieces of knowledge are taught, and creative expression is slowly vanishing. This leads to bitter, unchanging people who solely care about themselves, thinking of others as tools to be used, whether aware of it or not.

And these resulting people follow the more charismatic of the same group, the people who know exactly how to get what they want by using their fellow people. And these people teach their children the same lessons they were taught. A few of these people manage to break free of the choke hold, if only for a moment, and in a lot of cases these people are awakening otherkin, I think. But there’s the status quo, right on their heels telling them that what they’re doing is wrong. So they either fall back into the mainstream, or they become ‘fluff-bunnies’. These people realize deep down that they’re unique and special, but the junk they’ve substituted for a belief system isn’t fulfilling that, and they can’t figure out why they still feel empty. So they go out in search of people to share their beliefs, validate them in hopes that will make them feel complete.

But that doesn’t work. Everyone they come across seems to be hostile to them in some form or another, from their perception, which is partially true given that the status quo is harshly enforced, so they keep inflating their claims and beliefs to fill the rapidly growing emptiness in their spirits. And it grows into a cycle with no end. The more times they’re driven away, the bigger and harder to heal the underlying problem gets. True to the saying ‘The empty can rattles loudest’, it’s usually the most desperate that the media finds, the ones who give a bad name to the culture they have attached themselves to. So why do I bring all this up? I find it concerning that the defacto standard way of dealing with these people, no matter what the group, is the same thing that created them as they are. To them, it’s either they’re important and special or they’re worthless; they feel worthless within but they keep building their fantasy because they know of nothing else to do, perhaps even resorting to belittling others to temporarily quell their own feelings of the same.

So, finally, I’ve shown the problem. Now, how to fix it. Perhaps it is as simple as leading by example. Instead of shunning the confused and misguided away, perhaps we should take a walk in their shoes. What might this person be going through? I know, they can be annoying, but it’s come to my impression that looking for them within yourself may be the only way to break the cycle. We are all connected, every creature on this planet is, and though it might not make a lot of sense, you can learn a lot about another person by looking within yourself. To help them, I think an individual would have to approach them with understanding, and most of all, unconditional love, and help them get rid of the junk they’ve held for so long, in exchange for something far better, true uniqueness and the strength to protect and help it grow through the art of questioning.

I’ll conclude with this. To all the fluff-bunnies out there:

A year or so before I came across the otherkin community, I fit the definition of fluff-bunny. I was so full of balonie I could’ve passed as a sandwich, but luckily I didn’t pester too many people before I realized that what I was doing just wasn’t working. And in this my beliefs were completely shattered, … except the one I had built around. It hurt, I can say that much, but afterwards, in the ruins of my beliefs I could see little shards of truth, distorted by the rest, and the ‘entrance’ to the depths of my being was accessible again. I admit this because I want to help others find their way, and face the truth with less unpleasantness. So I’m going to ask a few questions.

Are you afraid of being asked ‘why’? Why are you afraid of it? What do you have to lose by questioning your beliefs? You’re already unique and special, just as every other being in the universe. If you don’t feel loved and special, then it’s likely that you don’t see yourself as special and worthy of love. But I can say I already care for you, else I wouldn’t have written this. So, just calm down, and look within your heart. Who and what do you see? Why do you see it? Is what you see something you can love unconditionally? If not, brush it away, and look deeper. It doesn’t matter what it is, no matter how seemingly mundane it might seem to the rest of the world, as long as you feel it completes you, and you can care for it. Then take that feeling of completeness, keep it close. Follow it wherever it may take you, and help it grow through asking ‘why’. If there’s no real answer to that three-lettered word (why), don’t bother with it no matter where it comes from, otherwise, look into it deeply. Question, but don’t doubt, and faith will follow. This is the beginning of your journey, and I wish you well.