by The Polyrhytms

It was mid-to-late May, 2007. One night I was chatting to my partner of (then) seven months – and I could tell something was troubling him, making him upset. He went on to tell me that he was worried that others would see him as ‘deluded’ and ‘crazy’. He was frightened nobody would believe him. Confused and most of all concerned, I asked why, comforted him; and he told me “Well … I think I’m otherkin.”

Before then, I had never heard of the term ‘otherkin’; and wondered how to phrase my next question, even typing tentatively, as if I was struggling to get my words out or that I’d offend him if I was too quick to react. I didn’t want to offend – I wasn’t freaked out, I wasn’t upset or angry. All I felt at that moment was curiosity – about what otherkin were – but I was afraid I’d ask in a brash way, a blunt way. I could tell that this was deeply personal, confidential information.

“What is otherkin?”

I am not the first person to ask that question, and I won’t be the last. My partner directed me to an article written by the site owner of Otherkin Alliance, explaining that it would help me to understand. After studying the article, I asked him a few questions – to confirm that I really did understand the basic definition. I wanted to know more. He had just told me that he felt his soul was not human – that he felt he’d lived a previous life (or lives) as another being. I wasn’t scared or angry; I was interested to find out, and I certainly did not see my partner as deluded or brainwashed in any way. However, I was a little apprehensive in asking more detailed questions. What if I said the wrong thing or offended somebody? Kinship was a topic I knew would need an open mind; and it took a while for this new information to sink in as I read up on different kin types, wondering how I could help my partner. I won’t pretend I understood it at once. It took a lot of concentration, and a lot of thinking – and I was often confused about this too. Of course, I still have a lot of learning to do – I believe you can never stop learning, particularly with a topic such as otherkin, a topic that is so diverse. There is so much to learn, but I find every new piece of information I come across interesting. You learn something new every day.

To love and accept someone after being told a deep, personal secret about who they are is a precious, precious gift. The way I see it; the person you are close to trusts you and loves you enough to tell you about their soul, their true self, looking for somebody to understand and confide in, somebody to love them for who they are. Supporting your otherkin partner will mean the world to them, and your relationship with them may even strengthen as you learn and grow together. You may also learn a lot more about yourself; as well as your kin partner.

To carry a secret around inside you can be painful; particularly when you are worried about how others will react, and how strongly spiritual and intimate it is to you. To tell that sacred information to someone, to get it off your chest and let someone you love dearly know who you are takes immense courage. When we think about how we learned to talk from a very young age, speaking any word seems an easy feat, but for someone to tell a deeply personal fact about themselves, it becomes extremely hard – and for you to accept that secret will help them to blossom, as they know that you will support them through tough times as well as the good. If the reader is a loved one of an otherkin who has recently came out; I implore you to please respect them; to be open-minded and willing to hear new ideas; and to realise that this person loves you, as the secret that has just been revealed is extremely precious, spiritual, and personal. Of course, upon first hearing the words “I may be otherkin” (or similar words to that effect) you may be confused, shocked, curious like I was … maybe even upset. Any kind of emotion is possible. You may even feel happy; joyful that your partner trusts you and loves you enough to let you know who they really feel they are.

A week later after he had confided in me, my partner was staying at a relative’s house while his parents were on holiday. During that time, both of us had been thinking very thoroughly about otherkin. However, I did not want to force myself to think of my partner as any particular kin – I figured that if I was to know, he should either be the one to tell me, or that it will find me and appear to me as it would to my partner.

It seemed to appear to me, seeping into my unconscious mind. In that week, during my sleep I started to have vivid dreams – images of wings, flying through a sky at dusk. Sometimes I would be the one flying, other times not. When I woke in the mornings, I automatically made mental notes of the dreams – and to tell my partner of this. I often share my dreams with people, wondering what they mean and asking their opinions, and these dreams were no exceptions. Was this connected to my partner’s kinship? Or was it just a vivid coincidence?

One afternoon mid-week, I opened my sketchbook … and decided to draw anything that came to mind, a favourite pastime of mine. I found myself drawing my partner, but with a pair of large wings protruding from his back. I did not stop drawing for around two hours, shading, adding detail, my mind a complete blank. I did not know why this idea had appeared – but I wouldn’t stop drawing until I was satisfied that it was finished. I finally put my pencil down and surveyed the drawing. My partner was sitting, looking down slightly, and the wings were spread out behind him. I headed this drawing with the words “tenshi mitai desu”. If you know a little Japanese, this roughly translates to “Just like an angel”. All thoughts of it being a coincidence seemed to die down. The little voice at the back of my mind didn’t fall silent just yet, but I was sure in my heart it was a form of connection, that I was meant to know. I still have this drawing to this day, as remembrance of that week.

Meanwhile, my partner had been learning a lot about his kinship too. He described to me how he felt “strangely drawn” to a book about angels, among other events that led to him finally finding out he was an Angelkin. I discussed with him my dreams and my artwork … and it was then I decided that I would like to talk to other kin (pun not intended). I visited OKA, the website where I had read the two first very friendly, easy insights into the subject of otherkin. I noticed the discussion forum in the navigation, and quickly clicked on it. Signing myself as ‘Momo-chan’, I became a member, and shyly introduced myself.

Oh, I was nervous. So nervous. I knew that talking to others about it would develop my knowledge, I could learn more about all different kin-types as well as the Angelkin, and I could make new friends. But it had been a good while since I’d last posted on a forum, and the time before that had been with a group of no more than six close friends. I’d also been a ‘regular’ on the AOL Teen boards in my youth *grins nostalgically* but left quickly when we deleted AOL. So, I guess you could say this was my first time posting on a public web-based forum … and once again, the fear that I would say something wrong or offensive was throbbing in my chest.

I really needn’t have worried. I explained my thoughts on the topic of my partner’s awakening, and many members of the forum supported me and gave me words of encouragement, as well as helping me understand the phenomenon of awakening. I gradually relaxed around the group, and soon started to post regularly. And as I became more used to conversing with others, I found it easier to ask my partner questions. Two months later – we’re happier than ever, and I have noticed an emotional change in myself as I have grown over these months.

Through my reading of articles and sharing my thoughts with others, I grew to realise more and more that otherkin should not be feared, and that I am blessed to have an Angelkin in my life. Those who are quick to judge will fail to see that many otherkin are wonderful people who choose to live a quiet life, and are perfectly capable of having jobs, families, religious beliefs, and a healthy, happy time on this planet.

Thank you, to everyone on OKA and most of all to my partner, for what you have done for me. But even more thanks are offered for what you have done to me.