by Rein

It’s an all too common scenario, something that happens so frequently, and without thought, that most people aren’t even aware that it goes on every day, right underneath our noses. To some, it might be only a one-in-a-million occurrence. To others, it may be something so deep inside, perhaps a teaching from childhood, that it is as natural as breathing. Many don’t realize they do it. Others do, but decide that there is nothing wrong with it, and continue on. I in fact have caught myself doing it several times too, and each time I’ve shaken my head and said “No”, because I know deep down that it’s not something I should do.

This act has no name, as there isn’t any word in existence to properly describe it without covering a broader area. The best way to describe this facet of behavior is with the words usually thought by the actor, consciously or subconsciously, right before it occurs……

“It’s one of THEM….”

This thought is what this act is all about. It is followed by a wave of apprehension and even slight fear that goes through the actor, involuntary or otherwise. The most common instinct exhibited from the actor is to avoid whatever triggered the response.
One might call this a natural human response, brought over from back when we had predators to fear, and our race survived through the ages only by knowing to avoid certain things. This included known predators, animals that could potentially harm us, other “rival” humans, and anything out of the ordinary. And back then, avoiding those things was wise. In some cases, it is still wise today.
However, we are not cave-dwellers anymore, and therein lies the problem with this thought process. In this day and age, the “apprehension” response can be triggered by other humans, humans which are essentially no different from us and pose no threat to us, just because they are DIFFERENT. And while it is a survival response to fear the unknown or new, in modern society, some of these behaviors are unwarranted and just plain silly. The broad term for all of these behaviors is “Discrimination”. I’m sure you know of it.

This article is not about the “undeserved hate” kind of discrimination. No, here I’ll explain about a lesser-known type, “subtle discrimination”, which often leads to hate if gone un-dealt with. Allow me to give a few examples of how the natural apprehension response can become subtle discrimination:

-A teenage girl is sitting in class when the teacher introduces a new student. This student stands up and waves, happy to be there. The girl thinks she may be nice and plans to talk to her. At lunch, she goes to sit with the girl, but as she gets nearer she notices a pagan symbol pendant hanging around the new girl’s neck. She isn’t sure what to think. She doesn’t know about pagans but knows they sometimes practice witchcraft, which her religion states is evil. So, instead of talking to the girl, she goes back to sit with her friends. She asks their opinions, and one says the new girl is creepy and a witch. The girl trusts her friend, so instead of going to investigate on her own, she decides never to go near the new student.

-A working man of an average upbringing goes to stay at a hotel while away on business, only to see that the hotel is catering to a special event, apparently a meeting of “Otherkin”. The man doesn’t know what otherkin is, so he asks a group member about it. The member explains that otherkin are those that have a close affiliation to an animal or being, most commonly believing that they are or were that animal/being in the past. This startles the man, as he’s never heard of it before, but out of curiosity he asks the woman what she believes she is. She states “A demon”. She starts to say more, but the baffled man excuses himself and hurries out of the hotel, writing otherkin off as a “bunch of crazies”.

-A woman, still in her prime, visits a bar with her friends. Near the other end of the room she observes a younger girl flirting with another woman. She is turned down and the woman leaves, and immediately afterwards the girl starts flirting with a man. The same pattern continues all night. Later on the woman approaches the girl and asks her how she can just be so loose like that. The girl, who is more than a little drunk, responds “I’m bi, we’re good like that!”. The woman is offended at this behavior and leaves quickly, deciding that bisexuals are skanks if they play around like that.

All of these people made the same mistake. They judged without properly understanding what they were judging. It’s incidents like these that often lead to repeat cases. When one of these people meets up with another of the same kind of person again, they will be even more prone to dislike or even hate the group, because they never resolved their initial impressions.
The teen girl decided the new student was bad just because of her religion and hearsay from her friends. The man wrote off an entire belief system as “crazy” without giving the believer a chance to explain her beliefs or getting to know others in the community. The woman decided all bisexuals must me loose, based on one drunk girl’s actions. Each of these people went by their baser instincts without putting their brains into the equation and going about things rationally. And worse, they never made an attempt to overcome these first impressions and see if they were wrong.

Now one might think “If it’s my instinct, shouldn’t I trust it?”. The answer is yes and no. The thing is, in modern society these instincts are impure. Think about it. In the olden days the apprehension response was used to keep us alive. By moving in groups and staying clear of unknown things, humans survived. If they encountered a new animal, their apprehension kept them clear of something that could potentially harm them. But today, these actions are directed at things that don’t deserve it, mostly because we lack what made out ancestors develop these behaviors-danger. We lash out and and run from things that even the superstitious cave-folk wouldn’t have been afraid of.

The way to overcome these reactions is simple, but most don’t put forth the effort to do it. Think with your mind, not your gut. Trust your instincts, but also remember that we are no longer hunter-gatherers wandering in tribes. Each person is an individual, and we need to treat them accordingly even if they are part of a larger group. Even if the group is generally thought of as “bad”, that doesn’t mean those part of it necessarily are. The trick is to get your facts straight, understand completely, and remember to treat every person as their own and not a stereotype. We also need to remember that each person is entitled to their own opinion. You are in no way obligated to accept their beliefs or ways of life, only understand that they have the right to keep them even if you disagree. The phrase to remember is “to each their own”. This is the only way we can function in society without driving ourselves into corners.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you’ve learned something from this article of mine.